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Letting go

No matter what. I was preparing for your biggest surprise. For months I was battling in creating this surprise.

I would have shocked you. You would have seen what I ‘d do for my Queen.

I know it took a lot. I saw the signs, I felt you. I was scared with everything, but whenever you were present in my life, I was at ease, it felt my secure haven, and I swifted away from the state of terror and action.

Here I am sitting on a bench somewhere on this planet, looking at the moon asking how far you are from me. Even if you are miles and miles away I feel you, it seems like you are in the same room. I don’t say the situation we are in good, I want to work it out, even if it means we aren’t meant to see each other, I keep feeling you, and hearing you.

I cant move on.

Cause I want you.

I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

I want all the pain and all the happiness.

Might not tomorrow or in a week, or in a year.

I am putting everything on the line. I am not asking you to do the same. Nevertheless, you may not hear what I am trying to say and I will have to move on, cutting deep inside me, and accept that this is for love. Many things could have been prevented, that is true. I am already hating every second,

and I am trying to embrace it,

embrace your change,

embrace my change, scared shitless that you won’t comeback,

because I am scared to be abandoned once more.

Sorry for putting this on your shoulder. I should trust love more, I am trying to since we met, its a fight, its a long process.

Please understand I never wanted to hurt you, I always saw your potential. Always said it. Look at you

I didn’t know,

it would cost me to watch from the dark corner...

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