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My heart-The Agony Within the Heart’s Refinement

In the vast sanctuary of my heart, where emotions echo and passions resonate, I stand at the crossroads of growth and introspection. My heart, a magnificent depth of experiences, beats with a rhythm that yearns for expansion.

To make it bigger, stronger, I recognize the need for a courageous surgery within. Each emotion, an integral part of this expansive organ, carries the weight of memories, some cherished, others burdensome. It's a paradox, for to preserve the heart's vastness, I must delicately cut away what no longer serves its purpose.

As I navigate the labyrinth of my own emotions, I realize the magnitude of my heart's capacity. The love it holds is boundless, but to allow it to flourish, I must surgically remove the attachments that constrict its potential. It's not about abandoning the essence of what made my heart significant; rather, it's a meticulous process of shedding layers to reveal a heart that beats with even greater vigor.

The precision of each cut becomes a testament to the depths of my own courage. It's an exploration into the vastness of my emotions, a willingness to confront the uncomfortable, with the unwavering belief that, in this surgical process with my own vulnerabilities, I'll emerge with a heart more resilient, more expansive, and more capable of embracing the symphony of life.

It’s not just about cutting off a piece; it’s a meticulous excavation of the heart’s terrain, searching for the tendrils that cling desperately to memories, dreams, and aspirations beyond my control. There’s a piece—a persistent dream, a goal, a desire—that anchors itself with unwavering determination, weaving through the essence of my being. I must dissect every trigger, every subtle reminder, for it’s in these details that the essence of attachment lies. The scalpel becomes both weapon and liberator, allowing me to breathe amidst the agony. It’s not that these dreams or loves are inherently bad; it’s the acknowledgment that, left unattended, they morph into stagnation. I can’t afford to stay stuck; life demands the risk of growth. Love, too, defies control, and in its wild embrace, I’ve learned to wield the scalpel with grace. This surgical dance, this painful extraction of what was once beautiful but turned toxic, is an act of self-preservation. As an endless romantic, I embrace the scars, for within them lies the testament of my unyielding pursuit of an unbounded, untamed love and the relentless quest for personal metamorphosis.

So, with each incision, I'm not breaking my heart; I'm nurturing its potential for boundless love, for a strength that transcends the scars of the past. In this complex surgery of myself, my heart grows not smaller, but larger, echoing with the resilience of an organ that refuses to be confined by its own history.


How do I cope with the haunting echoes of her memory?

How can I escape this persistent dream or nightmare ?

Step 1, introspect my beating heart

Step 2, pinpoint the triggers that summon her into my thoughts

Step 3, embark on a surgical endeavor to sever those emotional ties

It will be excruciatingly painful, and that’s alright, as long as I persevere.

Embrace the pain, metamorphose into humility, and surrender to release.

Tears may flow, boundaries may shatter. Yet, as long as I keep moving forward,

Cry, confront the extremes, let it all break down. Just keep moving.

Accepting the naked truth that I desired to marry her and still harbor that wish is bewildering.

This is the ultimate destination—the end goal that lingers, unresolved.

For in the heart’s complexity, I acknowledge the inevitable:


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